推荐回答（1个）
17. 字迹龙飞凤舞，大概你想当草书书法家吧? 〔雍庆/评改〕
18. 错别字太多啦，像烧饼上的芝麻一样，能不能争取把芝麻从烧饼上拍下来呢? 〔丁逸珊/评改〕
19. 字写得很挤，你不怕把它们热出毛病来? 〔戴小文/评改〕
20. 丢字现象严重，我猜想你是不是雨天常打破伞? 〔丁逸珊/评改〕
21. 内容如同秋天的枯树叶，干巴巴的，这样人家怎么会愿意读呢?多看课外书，保证明年春天枯叶又变得碧绿碧绿的。 〔娄维/评改〕
22. 错别字多得像马蜂窝……已经是四年级的学生了，怎么还可以用拼音代替不会写的字呢?你的字典是不是在睡觉? 〔娄维/评改〕
23. 本文内容生动，读了感觉像刚吃过一块鲜奶蛋糕一样，令人回味。 〔丁逸珊/评改〕
24. 动作写得很少，像秋天的枝头，一片叶子也没有。 〔宋佳佳/评改〕
25. 你的句子是缸里的死金鱼，一点也不鲜活。 〔侯秀云/评改〕
26. 标点打得规规矩矩，如光滑的地板砖一样。 〔丁逸珊/评改〕
27. 缺点是字不美观，像鸡找食吃时东扒扒西啄啄留下的印子。〔作文高手――时雷 评〕
28. 文章的第二自然段太长了，比一条金鳞巨蟒还要长呢。〔作文大王――严福玲 评〕
29. 全文没有优美词句，好似一个人光头，没长一根头发。〔作文大王――刘妍 评〕
30. 习作中的错别字，一卡车都装不下，简直吓死人。〔作文明星――乔宇 评〕
31. 人物说话没有表情，好像一直板着脸和人家对话。〔作文明星――刘瑞 评〕
32. 本文标题一般，犹如一张干燥的宣纸，缺少滋润的感觉。〔作文大王――严福玲 评〕
33. 全文语句流利通畅，恰如一条丝巾，摸起来十分光滑。〔作文大王――汪艳 评〕
34. 作文废话不少，仿佛胖子身上的脂肪一大堆。〔作文尖子――营婷婷 评〕
35. 标题具有吸引力，像一块磁铁，吸引了读者的目光。〔作文明星――周雪敏 评〕
36. 文中错别字很多，像癞蛤蟆身上的斑点，令人恶心。〔作文尖子――李静 评〕
37. 人物对话时脸部表情没有描写，难道他们是用橡皮泥捏出来的吗?〔作文大王――严福玲 评〕
38. 习作中丢的字加起来，能垒成一座高山，以后细心点好吗?〔作文明星――周芳华 评〕
39. 许多词语用得不太合适，就像一个人的手长到了脖子上一样，让人看了不舒服。 〔丁逸珊/评改〕
40. 句子读起来非常流畅自然，仿佛炎热的夏天，喝了一瓶冰凉的冰镇汽水，痛快极了。 〔雍庆/评改〕
41. 内容干干的一层皮，剥了皮，里面没有血没有肉，别人看了怎会不难受? 〔何凡/评改〕
42. 那句比喻很精妙，比一只聪明的狐狸想出的点子还要绝。 〔许娅蓉/评改〕
43. 丢标点现象严重，总共丢了个，你是不是很喜欢把标点当饭吃? 〔娄维/评改〕
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