求周星驰版的唐伯虎点秋香全剧英文台词，最好有双语字幕影片或者相关的链接

怎么啦？
What's the matter?
没什么，昨天话说太多，肌肉抽筋。
I talked so much yesterday, my muscle was hurted.
你过去认一认，他是不是你的仇人唐伯虎。
Go and identify this guy, tell me isn't he Tong Pak Fu.
是。
Yes.
原来是你啊？！
Oh, It's you!
靠！这样你还认得出来？！
How can you recognise me?
你化成灰我都认得出来，你就是唐......
I know you of course, you are Tong......
不错！我就是唐伯虎千方百计想逼害的死贱种！
Right, I am the one whom Tong wanted to kill.
不想死就给我闭口！
If you don't want to be killed, you'd better shut up.
夫人，因为唐伯虎几次行凶都蒙着面纱。
Madam, since Tong Pak Fu always maksed when he did bad things.
所以小人也不敢肯定是不是他。
So, I am not very sure.
这样呀！那就宁枉勿纵。
Well, don't miss any chance.
把他杀了。
Kill him.
等一等！
Hold!
这个人就算不是唐伯虎也应该跟唐伯虎有莫大的关系。
he should be Tong Pak Fu's somebody.
所以留他一条命应该会有用。
So, why not let him alive, maybe we can get Tong by using him.
死罪可免，活罪难逃。
Well, I can let him alive, but with severe(严厉的，严格的，剧烈的，严惩的，严峻的)
punishment.
石榴，带他到柴房好好看管着。
Shek-lau, lock him up in the storeroom.
任你处置。
Torture him as you like.
谢谢夫人赏赐。
Thank you, Madam.
喂！你想干什么？
What do you want?
带他进去。
Bring him in.
不要乱来啊，我是处男啊！
Don't touch me, I am still a virgin.

不要吵！我现在偷偷的放你走，快闪！
Shut up! You'd better run for your life.
千万别放我走。
No, I don't want to leave.
华府吃得好睡得好，我刚刚又上了一个饥渴怨妇。
for I have good food here.
我舍不得走呀！
and I have screwed a wonderful woman.
你开什么玩笑啊？
Are you kidding?
是真的！何况我在外面欠了一屁股债。
I mean it, for I owe the loan sharks much money.
这里是我最好的避难之处啦！
this is the best place for me to hide up.
你......
You......
有人来了！
Someone is coming.
你没事吧？
Are you alright?
什么事？秋香姐。
What's the matter? Miss Chou-heung.
请问，你是唐伯虎吗？
Are you Tong Pak Fu?
姑娘为何有些一问？
Why do you ask me this question?
实不想瞒，我很倾慕唐伯虎的才华和文采。
Be frank, I admire Tong Pak Fu so much.
我好想见见他本人。
I want to see him.
请问你到底是不是？
Please tell me are you Tong Pak Fu or not.
没错！我就是唐伯虎。
Right, I am Tong Pak Fu.
那是什么声音？
What kind of noise is it?
畜牲的声音。
It's the noise of the beast.
畜牲不要吵！
Shut up, beast.
秋香姐，今天我有缘相会，应该促膝长谈。
Chou-Heung, it's destiny for us to meet, we may have a long talk.
我有一个问题想问你，你愿意回答我吗？
May I ask you a question?
当然愿意！可是为了表示你的诚意。
Sure, but to show you are sincere enough.
你先回答我一个问题。
you have to answer me a question first.
首先先闭上你的双眼。
Close your eyes first.
全身放轻。
Relax.
慢慢把你的头靠在我的左肩膀上。
Put you head on my left shoulder.
不要紧张！你不相信我吗？
Don't be nervous, don't you trust me?
尽量不要紧张，慢慢把头放过来。
Relax, let your face touch mine, slowly......
对！乖！
Right, good girl.
忍无可忍！
I could stand no more.
唐哥哥！我来了。
Kid, I am coming.
有人来了！
Somebody is coming.
小姐你是......
Miss, who are you?
吃干抹净了想不认帐啊？
Don't you remember me? You've just screwed me!
我唐伯虎乃一介斯文， 你说什么？
I am civilized, what are you talking about?
少来！你刚才那股儿骚劲呢？
Damn, you tried very hard just then.
刚刚没有人当然可以骚了，现在有......
But, there was no third party......
有什么呀？我们来玩个更刺激的。
What? I won't care, I want to play a game with you now.
美女与野兽。
The beauty and the beast!
原来唐伯虎是这样的人。
I know Tong Pak Fu now.
华安比他好多了。
Wah On is ever better than him.
过奖了，秋香姐。
Thank you, Miss Chou-heung.
你怎么在这儿啊？
Why are you have?
我？我来看看哪，你呢？
I come to watch something. How about you?
我也是。
Me too.
一起看。
Let's watch together.
这个精彩。
This is great.
是吗？
Really? Look.
老虎不发威，你当病猫？！
Don't you think I am nothing?
我还要！
Once more.
让开让开......
Give way, give way......
太师，宁皇带大队人马进来了。
You Excellency, King Ning is coming with a troop.
老爷，这个宁皇一向跟老爷政见不和。
Honey, Ning always goes against you.
在朝中已是水火不容。
In the government meeting, you are the political enemy of him.
今日冒然来访，而且带了那么多官兵。
He brings a troop here,
恐怕另有所谋！
I am afraid he is having some tricks.
小心别让他借题发飙！
We should be careful.
宁皇到。
Here comes King Ning.
王爷请！
Please!
华太师你发吗？
How are you?
皇爷特地光临寒舍，我真是受宠苦惊。
Thank you for visiting us.
太师言重了！本皇素闻太师对丹青有所偏好。
I have heard that you love Chinese painting very much.
好不容易才找到唐伯虎的几张真迹专程来送给你。
I tried very hard to find some paintings of Tong Pak Fu for you.
皇爷！
Your Majesty.
不必客气。
Cut the crap.
师爷，拿画上来。
Bring me the paintings.
是！
Yes.
果然栩栩如生，神韵十足。
It's really sanctuary Nice pictures.
很不错吧？我是欣赏其中的皇者风范。
Really? It's so great!
我还找人重新裱过。
I have remounted it.
你看，那种令群鸟低头的气势，跃然于纸上。
Look at the King of the birds, it seems to be alive.
真不愧是鸟中之王呀！
It's really the King of the birds.
皇爷，这么贵重的礼物我怎么受得起呢？
How can I accept suth precious gift.
你是不给我面子。
If you don't accept it, you are not giving me face.
想逼我发飙啊？
Don't you want me to lose my temper?
皇爷请息怒！
Don't get angry.
既然皇爷今日带来了名画，贱妾也想开一开眼界。
I do want to have a look of the paintings too.
好！华夫人既然也是爱画之人，大家研究一下。
Since you love paintings too, let's have a look.
秋香，你也来看看！
Chou-heung, come and have a look!
是！夫人！
Yes, Madam.
这幅孔雀图，它本身的确是唐寅少有的妙笔之作。
This is the 'Peacock', painted by Tong Yan.
可惜孔雀始终是凡鸟。
But peacock is an ordinary bird at all.
就算重新装裱来衬托，也是无补于事的。
Even you remount it, it doesn't help.
凡鸟就是凡鸟，绝对不会飞上枝头变成凤凰的！
For an ordinary bird won't become phonix at all.
皇爷，贱妾管教无方。
You Majesty, please forgive her.
秋香如果有什么冒范的地方，还请皇爷恕罪！
She is so green in studying painting, please forgive her ignorance(无知，不知).
皇爷，夫人这么说
Your Majesty, since they are experts in studying Chinese paintings.
他们一定收藏了比我们这幅更好的唐伯虎的画。
I think they hae kept some better painting of Tong Pak fu here.
对呀！
You are right!
夫人，那就拿出来见识见识。
Madam, why not show me the paintings of Tong Yan.
实不相瞒，我们真的没有唐伯虎的画！
Be frank, we don't have any Tong Pak Fu's paintings.
岂有些理，你这分明是存心戏弄皇爷。
Damn, you are fooling Our Majesty.
华太师。
Your Excellency.
皇爷，画是没有！不过唐伯虎本人，正在舍下作客。
Your Majesty, but Tong Pak Fu is now living in our guset room.
秋香，去请唐伯虎出来。
Chow-heung, please lead Tong Pak Fu here.
是！夫人。
Yes, Madam.
夫人，唐伯虎到。
Madam, here comes Tong Pak Fu.
唐伯虎，我要你立刻挥毫画一幅凤凰傲意图给皇爷欣赏。
Tong Pak Fu, I want you to draw a picture of phoenix for His Majesty.
好，我要看你怎么画神鸟凤凰，会比我的孔雀好。
I want to know how nice is your phoenix!
你要是画得不好，你小命难保！
If you can't draw a nice phoenix, you may be killed!
唐伯虎，还不快点画呀？
Tong Pak Fu, darw it now.
大功告成。
It's done.
看，这就是神鸟凤凰。
Look, this is the Holy Phoenix.
不对吧？！这分明是小鸡吃米图。
Kidding! It's chick instead.
还差那么点。
Something is missing.
在头上加个光圈。
A circle right here.
这就是神鸟了。
See, it is holy then?
岂有此理，竟敢戏弄本皇。
Damn, how dare you fool me!
多谢皇爷！我一直怀疑这个人是冒牌的！
Thank you, Your Majesty, I always suspect that he isn't Tong at all.
今日在皇爷威严之下果然露出了马脚！
Now, we've found out the truth from his painting.
拖出去。
Drag him out.
是！
Yes.
素闻太师才高八斗。
I have heard that you are great in writing poems.
我有一个参谋将军想跟你切磋切磋。
my consultant wants to learn something from you.
我们老爷怎么可以以大欺小呢？
No the others will tease Our Excellency of bullying your staff.
是呀是呀！
Right.
文学切磋是不分辈份的。
We won't count ranking in literature sutdying.
就是嘛！玩玩而已！不过如果你对不出来，别怪我发飙。
Just for fun, if you don't accept this challenge. I'll lose my temper.
出对！
Start the distich race.
一乡二里共三夫子，不识四书五经六义
A for apple B for boy, C for cat and D for dog.
竟敢教七八九子，十分大胆。
E for egg and G for girl.
对呀！怎么不对呢？
Come on, answer this, aren't you giving me face?
你不给我面子啊？我可真的要发飙。
Or, I will lose my temper! Don't make me angry.
让我来试试。
Please let me try.
十室九贫，凑得八两七钱六分五毫四厘
Doe a deer, Bay a drop of golden sun

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