请帮我把下面几句话翻译成英文，最好用复杂一点的句子，简单了也没关系，谢谢了！！！

Do you understand the thoughts inside my heart? I am very paradoxical. I miss you thousands of times every day. I had thought I met with the lights in the darkness as meeting you. Could you still remember those talkings you gave to me? Maybe you thought that's just jokings, which, however, I took it as committment, and as a result, loving you blindly.

Do you know what's in my mind? I'm very contradictory.I think of you lots of times a day,I thought you were the light in darkness.Don't you remember what you said to me? Maybe all that is just a joke, but I regarded it as promise and fell in love eith you.

Do you understand my heart the idea of it? I am in a dilemma, many times a day do you want to face you, I thought met the night lights, said to me before, then you remember that? Perhaps you think it was a joke, I do it wrong as a commitment to the blind like you!