家庭搞笑的对话

2024-11-10 00:17:06
推荐回答(2个)
回答1:

老妈叫我翻译!!!(超强爆笑)
今天我正在看碟,老妈又捧了本书进来,说道:给我讲讲这几句话什么意思

  老妈:这个“i don’t know.“是什么意思?

  我说:“我不知道”

  老妈:送你上大学上了几年,你怎么什么都不知道!!

  我说:不是!就是“我不知道”吗!!

  老妈:还嘴硬!!!!$@%!#$^&%#$%@$%@#$%!^%^!^%$^#&..(一顿爆揍)

  老妈:你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧,给我说说。

  我说:是“我知道“

  老妈:知道就快说。

  我说:就是“我知道“

  老妈:找茬呀你?刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不?

  我说:就是我知道呀!

  老妈:知道你还不说!!不懂不要装懂!&*$%^@$#!%$@^%#*$^^^##$%(又一顿爆揍)

  老妈:你给我小心点,花那么多钱送你上大学,搞的现在什么都不会,会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱,再问你最后一个,你给我好好解释一下,说不出来我在收拾你,你给我翻译一下“i know but i don’t want to tell you.“是什么意思?

  我晕倒,拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下,用头撞墙四十多下,双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下,用腿踢桌子角六十多下,血肉模糊之时,我问老妈:这下你满意吧

   这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“

  我:“我很烦,别烦我“

  老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)

  老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“

  我说:“我没听清,再说一次“

  老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“

  “我没听清,再说一次“

  结果被扁

  老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“

  我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)

  老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊’

  我说:“查字典“

  “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)

  老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“

  我说:“你最好问别人“

  “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“

  “啊!god save me !“

“上帝救救我吧!”

  “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)

  我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“

  我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“

  “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手

  我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”

  “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”

回答2:

我来。。
1.一卖煤的和一卖鸡蛋的打架,众人围观,好奇并问其原因,卖鸡蛋的说:“有他这样的吗~!我一喊:鸡蛋——!”他马上喊:“卖煤(没)了~~!!”
3.苍蝇妈妈带着小苍蝇吃饭,它们飞到一堆牛粪上,小苍蝇郁闷地问:“妈妈,为什么咱们总是吃牛粪呢?”苍蝇妈妈给了小苍蝇一记耳光,骂道:“这倒霉孩子,吃饭的时候不许说这么恶心的事儿!”

4.一妇女带着孩子上公车,司机说:“这是我见过的最丑的娃娃。”妇女对邻座的男人说:“司机侮辱我!”那个男人说:“去找他算帐!我来抱你的猴子。”

5.画家站在梯子上为精神病院的天花板绘画,一病人对他说:“你握住你的那枝笔别松手。”画家:“我握着没问题。”病人:“那我把你的梯子搬走用一下。”

6.在教室里,阿明把饭盒伸到旁边的阿华面前说:“尝尝我的饭”阿华舀了一大勺喂进嘴巴里,“看馊了没有。”阿明补充道。

7.小明脸肿了同学问原因,小明说:“昨天去公园划船,有只蜜蜂落我脸上了。”同学问:“把他赶走不就行了?”小明:“没来得及,我爸用船桨把它打死了。”

8.三个贫农在田间聊天,甲:我要当了大官就顿顿吃白馍。乙:那我每天吃大碗的牛肉面。丙:我要当了官,村里的粪谁都不许捡,全是我一人的!

9.某夜大学生宿舍有位同学在揉眼睛,另一位同学:杂志上说揉眼睛可能会把眼角膜揉掉。这时听电了,只听揉眼睛的同学说:啊!我的眼角膜揉掉了!

10.两个同事喝酒后大醉,其中一个卷着舌头说:我看到的所有东西都是双层的。另一个赶紧从衣袋里掏出一张十元的票子说:这是我还你的二十块钱。

11.计划生育部长下乡普查,问老农:你知道近亲为什么不能结婚吗?老农憨厚地笑答:呵呵……太熟了,不好意思下手。

12.一帮人去海边露营,路上有一哥们儿不停吃炒黄豆,众人恐其多吃放屁,劝其不要再吃了,其答曰:一会儿你们扎营,我下海给你们炸鱼去!

13.话说一大夫去饭馆吃饭,侍者递上菜单,大夫见侍者的手在屁股后面抓,便漫不经心地说:有痔疮吧!侍者有礼貌地说:先生,请您点菜单上的菜。

你乐了没?

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