老师这是我的雅思大作文 刚才那个地方打不了这么多字 求指点！多谢老师
推荐回答（5个）
写的很好了 看你应该至少大学英语专业的了吧？？ 雅思是个比较formal 的写作 So开头的句子最好不要有。一般雅思写作body段的构思是 intro-comment-example-support-conclusion. 但是到了你这个阶段以后example这一条真心可以省了 说实话我看着你的这个文章中间那个For example有点儿难受。雅思写作没人去关心你的example是什么。最主要的是support要多。 再就是其实我建议你多在开头下点功夫。从你的两个body段的开头来看你的文笔还是很好的。 那么把这个文笔用在开头段，介绍一下当前局势我觉得会更好。比如说一些什么with the education popularized, numerous individuals swarmed into schoools, anticipating obtaining more advanced knowledge. However, the apparence of distance learning triggers interests among most of these people; myriads of individuals tend to take certain academic curriculum online instead of studying in schools...........这样也许会让考官眼前一亮的
有些语法错误，比如第二段serve应为serving；第三段倒数第二段course应加复数而最后一行not only后面要倒装，but后就不必倒装；第四段there are 应另起一句；最后一段第一行much应该为many.
整体论述与用词都比较平稳，算不得出彩，得分应在5.5-6之间，算是中等分数，雅思写作与口语两项一向不易得高分
仅供参考~
我觉得你的雅思作文应专业教师的评价，在网上人们可以轻松地查看，它可能会产生误导。
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我感觉您的雅思作文应该有专业的老师来做点评，在网上什么人都可以随便点评，很可能产生误导。
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