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还要英文的。- - 。中文的都没人愿意帮你找！都没悬赏分的！
Top 12 List Of Funny Christmas Quotes
Humorous Christmas Quotes #1
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
Humorous Christmas Quotes #2
Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you're home.
Carol Nelson
Humorous Christmas Quotes #3
Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
Author Unknown
Humorous Christmas Quotes #4
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present.
Author Unknown
Humorous Christmas Quotes #5
There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmastime. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
P.J. O'Rourke
Humorous Christmas Quotes #6
Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
Author Unknown
Humorous Christmas Quotes #7
There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
Erma Bombeck
Humorous Christmas Quotes #8
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Jay Leno
Humorous Christmas Quotes #9
Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money.
Author Unknown
Humorous Christmas Quotes #10
Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music.
Tom Sims
Humorous Christmas Quotes #11
Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year.
P.J. O'Rourke
Humorous Christmas Quotes #12
Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
Kin Hubbard
Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
More funny Phyllis Diller quotes
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The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
More funny Jay Leno quotes
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Many banks have a new kind of Christmas club in operation. The new club helps you save money to pay for last year’s gifts.
More funny Anonymous quotes
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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet.
More funny Anonymous quotes
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I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
More funny Shirley Temple quotes
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
More funny W. C. Fields quotes
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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
More funny Johnny Carson quotes
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The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
More funny Johnny Carson quotes
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Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.
More funny Kin Hubbard quotes
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Unless we make Christmas an occasion to share our blessings, all the snow in Alaska won't make it "white".
More funny Bing Crosby quotes
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discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money? (from Marvin)
More funny Tom Armstrong quotes
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The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
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