推荐回答(1个)
古人说,刚过为悔,柔过为吝。凡事做过了头,出现了错误,便会后悔。既悔必吝,吝是失误之后产生猥猥琐琐的消极状态。而这种消极状态,不但会影响大局,还会疏远朋友之间的关系。如果一位领导是在这种消极的状态中工作,还有谁会愿意跟着他真干实干呢?
有的人喜欢指出别人的过错,这种人是难得的。哪怕对方是恶意的指错,只要你确实有过错,还是得感谢他。如果一位领导对指出他错误的人乱发脾气,那只会是增加下级对你更加不满。你是将怒气全部发泄到下级身上,还是自我反省及时检查自己的过错?善于处理人事关系的人肯定会选择后者,因为他明白自己的缺点,也会控制自己的情绪,及时去改正自己,而不是摆领导架子,依1日我行我素,而那样做只会更增加下属对你的愤怒。
有些下属对自己的领导心存不满,这是可以看出来的,例如,他在见到上司时表情十分冷淡,有时连招呼也不打,甚至不理会上司。作为领导,你自然会感觉很没有面子,心里多少会有一些不畅快,这时,你要稳定住自己的情绪,仔细查找其中存在的原因,发现问题的症结所在。
但也有故意刁难你的人,你对他不要理睬,要不以为然,但如果他跑到你头上拉屎,就不能忍让了,你得与他理论理论,让对方意识到自己的错误。对于心怀歹意喜欢刁难的人,你要选择恰当的方式教训他,最好有几个支持你的人为你说话,批评一下对方。
虽然,我们主张以柔和的态度对待犯错误的人,用分析问题的方法使对方知道自己的所为是对是错,但是有时也需要正面的批评,甚至是严厉的批评,这可以起到振聋发聩的作用。所以说应该接受别人的批评。即使对方批评错了,只要相互之间做到坦诚相待,把自己的真实感受和想法透露给对方,相信对方也会对你诉说衷肠的。因为你能以坦荡的胸怀对待别人,对方是会被感动的。
最令人害怕的是批评者凶神恶煞的样子,他得理不饶人,抓住你的过失不放,可怜你好话说了三千句,一句也不能让对方“放下武器”,非逼得你跳墙。你的态度诚恳得连老天都落下泪来,而对方还是不肯原谅你。到此无可后退之时,你就要与其“正面交涉”了。你一旦到了不再害怕的程度,对方反而会思考你的话了。当然,任何时候不能用暴力手段,而是用自己想到的能够解救自己的语言去回敬对方,话说重一点不要紧,手要放在衣袋里,以防它变成语言的辅助工具。
你主动与对方谈自己的想法,让对方原谅你的过错,如果一次交谈没有结果,或者没有达到你满意的程度,你也不要太灰心,更不能放弃。你要相信,只要友善地与对方保持经常的接触和交流,你与对方的关系就一定会慢慢好起来。
不论是对朋友、对同事、对下属,还是对其他人,产生了矛盾不要紧,先要对对方以礼相待,不要把对方逼急了,也不能让对方把自己逼急了。你不能发火,火发起来容易,扑灭就难了,即使扑灭了火,留下的疮疤一时很难愈合。所以,理在你手上,并且谦让在先,而一旦到了你用“兵”的时候,你的好品格是不会失去的。
也就是说,对朋友、对同事、对下属,先要以礼相待,“柔”字当先,只有确认对方是一块化不开的顽石时,才可以把它敲开来看看,找到别的解决方法。
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